You just got engaged to your best friend and could not be happier – Your friends and family now know and are also over the moon – Everyone is asking when the big day is, where it will take place, and have already started giving their suggestions. This maybe overwhelming you a bit, but you still cannot believe this is happening! Wedding planning is stressful, and you may not know where to begin. Fear not! I’ve outlined a few helpful insights to make this whole process easier. Remember, though, there are no rules to wedding planning. These suggestions are to help you get an idea of what to think about when planning. I hope you find them useful and help your decision making a little less stressful.

ENJOY!

This may seem like a silly suggestion, but do not forget to enjoy the fact that you are engaged! Go on a date night with your fiancé. Treat yourselves while you talk about all the exciting things ahead and relish in your engagement..

First Steps

Choose your date. Simple right? Maybe not so much. If you have a specific vendor in mind (photographer/videographer, venue, food, etc.), they might not be available. Some vendors are booked a minimumof one year in advance. The more popular a vendor, the less likely they are to be available. For example, I have been booked two years in advance because a venue was so popular. If you know you want to get married 10 months from your engagement, setting your date should be first on your list.

Also keep in mind the time of year your big day will take place. Look ahead to see the potential for holiday or weather interference. Knowing this in advance will help you and your guests plan their PTO, travel, lodging, and other logistics. Plus, it’ll make you look like you’re totally on top of everything.

So now you have your date set! Relax a little and soak in being engaged. Having your date also helps manage expectations when planning. Will you have two years to plan or eight months? Lex and I had planned everything in under 10 months. Does that make us better? No. In addition to being wedding photographers, we had been talking about getting married for a long time and pretty much had the whole thing planned by the time we got engaged. It was just a matter of acting on our plans, booking our vendors, and paying deposits.

Your “Top Three”

One of the best things I read, when Lex and I were planning our wedding, was to pick the top three things that were most important to us, then focus our time, energy, and money on those. Everything else should be icing on the cake. Being a photographer and videographer, we are biased to think photos and video are the most important thing you could spend money on. After all is said and done, and the years have gone by, your photos and/or video will be there to take you back in time to when you married you best friend. It all happens so fast. There will be moments you remember and moments you do not even realize were happening. We think it is crucial you have these memories captured.

Do not forget, you are hosting an awesome party! Depending how your guest list shapes up you can tailor the reception to match the vibe you want. Make sure there are some fun options for everyone, like: drinks, dancing, and games. For us, we had an incredible DJ to help get the party going. There will be another post coming soon on DJ’s!

Budget

Let’s get a bit serious. Before you start planning, have a talk about money. I know talking about finances is not everyone’s favorite thing to do, but it is important to be on the same page about how much you are willing to spend. According to Business Insider, “Americans spend, on average, $33,391 on their weddings”. They rank Illinois (Chicago Suburbs) around $34,675. Now, I am not saying you HAVE to spend this much to have an incredible wedding. Your dream wedding can come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and price points. Knowing generally where your budget lands overall, and for each aspect of the wedding, will help you plan better.

Invites and Save The Dates

Typically, Save the Dates go out six to eight months prior to your wedding date, while the Invitations go out six to eight weeks before. For us, we found that this was one of the worst parts of planning. Before anything can be mailed out, you will need to finalize your guest list. That alone may go through a few variations. Once complete, think about all the addresses that need to be collected. Some people may have moved or gone off to college, making tracking them down even harder. Now you have to deal with the mail. We had a several invites that never made it to our guests or were undeliverable. On all the things you have spend money on, stamps and postage should not be an item that keeps you up at night. We have had couples who did not send out their information via mail and, instead, just word of mouth told their loved ones. We also had a couple email out their information to save paper. Do what makes the most sense for you.

After doing a poll on Instagram about wedding advice, one follower recommended numbering your Invitations and Save the Dates that coordinate with your guest list so you do not accidentally miss someone!

Wedding Website

Obviously, this is not a must have, but I think having one is a helpful tool! Paper invitations are still very useful, especially for the less tech savvy guests, but for a lot of your guests a wedding websites will be more efficient. Most people forget to bring the invite on the wedding day and aren’t sure where to go. Being able to access ALL the information on the website will alleviate stress for you and them. Rather than harass you for information, your guests can reference the website instead. Just make sure to have all the information on there that they need, like when and where they should be.

Wedding websites are also a great way to share how you and your fiancé met and got engaged, or share photos of your relationship. If they do not already know, people will want to know how you or your partner popped the question, and this will be a great way to share that story!

Get Your Ring Insured

This section should probably be noted at the beginning, as your ring(s) may have been use at the proposal. Getting your engagement and wedding rings insured is not something people realize is a “To-Do”, however, it can be important to take care of after spending so much money on them. You can even add it to your homeowners or renters insurance!

DO WHAT YOU WANT

You may be thinking, “Well duh Mackenzie, of course I am going to do what I want. It’s my wedding!” Well, I am here to say that I have heard so many stories about couples saying the only reason they are doing x, y, and z is to please someone else. Oftentimes they did not want to do it. Now I am not saying be mean to your loved ones, unless they’re that one cousin (you know the one) that needs to be taken down a peg or two, but if the thought of doing their idea makes you sad or cringe, DON’T DO IT. Your day should be about you. If you don’t want to wear a veil, if you want to get married in a backyard, and if you want to eat donuts instead of a cake, then great! Do it. If you want a more traditional wedding, that is wonderful too! Do it. The point is, do what feels right for you and your fiancé.

Don’t Do It For The “Gram”

There is this saying, “Do it for the gram”, which implies you are doing something just to post it on social media. It can be great to share your life on social media, and I share a lot of things, but if you are only doing something at your wedding because it is “Instagrammable” you may find that your wedding planning is becoming more stressful than necessary. Getting caught up in the hype may even cause you to spend outside of your budget. Keep in mind what matters to you, and don’t feel like you have recreate everything you see online.

Have Fun!

Wedding planning can be stressful and sometimes not so much fun and that is totally OKAY. Its not always like the movies. Just remember to have some fun along the way.